This post will not mean very much to anyone other than myself.
Albert Kwok-Wai Yeung 「楊國偉」 and Agnes Yuk-Lan Yu 「余玉蘭」 are child abusers. I just wanted to post this fact on the Internet so that it can be recorded for posterity.
The nature of child abuse is such that it rarely occurs in public. The recipients of the abuse are left to deal with its effects while the perpetrators typically face no ill consequences.
Actually, child abuse harms many more people than just the immediate recipients of the abuse. The fact that Albert Kwok-Wai Yeung had been beating and threatening me since I was a child for studying the topics which would form the background of my intended Ph.D. did not merely cause me to drop out of the Ph.D. program. It also wasted the efforts of everyone — teachers, professors, fellow graduate students, and colleagues — who helped me, who worked with me or wanted to work with me, or who otherwise poured their energies and resources into advancing science and attracting young people into their fields. I could not attend certain scientific conferences because Albert Kwok-Wai Yeung had forbid me from or threatened me for doing so, and at many scientific meetings I could not contribute to the best of my abilities because of the need to hide my activities from him. His actions meant that I could return very little to the scientific community for the resources that I consumed, which made me feel very guilty about being in my field, which in turn made it impossible for me to continue with my studies.
As another example, I’ve already written previously about how Agnes Yuk-Lan Yu would not stop criticising me, after I won a TA award, for not withholding information from my students — in other words, for not doing my job poorly. Presumably, the university rewards graduate students who make an effort at teaching (even if the reward is only a little bit of recognition) to encourage the development of good lecturers. Because of Agnes Yuk-Lan Yu’s behaviour, I stopped being a teaching assistant and never applied to lecture any courses. Again, this wasted the efforts of many people at the university and harmed many people besides myself.
There is nothing that I can do to turn back the clock and undo the damage that Albert Kwok-Wai Yeung and Agnes Yuk-Lan Yu have done not just to my own scientific career, but to the broader scientific community — damage which they perpetrated through me. But I want their names to be remembered in history for the child abusers and enemies of science that they are, so that people can learn through my mistakes how better to deal with others like them in the future.
– davinci 11954
You’re absolutely every parents’ nightmare! I am sorry for your parents for having given birth to a monster like you!
For parents who do not abuse their children, the fear of being (falsely) accused of being child abusers has to be pretty far down the list of things they worry about. Do people who are not thieves or rapists stay awake at night worrying about being accused of theft or rape?
On the other hand, I wish I was every abusive parent’s nightmare. If the inherent wrong of hurting an innocent and defenseless child is not sufficient to deter a child abuser, one might hope that the abuser’s fear of being exposed as such might do the job. Unfortunately, child abuse continues to happen because abusers expect to get away with their deeds. And the reason they have that expectation is because of people like you.
When I was being abused, I was repeatedly warned by my abusers not to tell anyone about what was happening. They told me that if I said anything to anyone, people would say bad things about me. As a child, I accepted this without question. Looking back on it as an adult, I have a great deal of difficulty understanding why anyone would blame a child for being repeatedly beaten and having his life threatened by the very people who were supposed to love and protect him, instead of being horrified by the behaviour of the so-called “parents” who abused him.
But since you called me a “monster”, maybe you can explain it to me. Do you also go around calling women who have been raped “sluts”? Do you feel sorry for a rapist when someone he has raped fights back and makes it publicly known that he is a rapist, instead of cowering in shame like he wants?
Women used to be blamed when they were raped, but in Western society today the moral culpability has shifted entirely onto the rapist, where it justly belongs. Similarly, I hope one day to live in a society where it is generally recognised that abused children are not at fault for what was done to them, where attitudes like yours are viewed as a relic of the past, and where it is considered utterly despicable to call someone a “monster” for having been abused as a child.
Now, in societies that hold women at fault for sexual assaults directed against them, people who wish to maintain the status quo often include women among them, who have unquestioningly bought into the values with which they were raised, and who thus help to victimise other women. So, while I think that you couldn’t possibly have any reason for wanting to silence people who have been abused as children unless you’re a child abuser yourself, I recognise that you might just be someone who has been raised with the belief that parental authority should never be questioned, and who has never critically examined this belief.
Ask yourself just under what circumstances you think it becomes acceptable to criticise or denounce one’s parents. Can a murderer’s children denounce him without being a “monster”? What about a rapist’s? What if a parent did not abuse his own children, but the children of others? What line does a parent have to cross before you don’t call his child a “monster” for denouncing him?
Throughout my life, Albert Kwok-Wai Yeung 「楊國偉」 and Agnes Yuk-Lan Yu 「余玉蘭」 have behaved towards me in ways that, had I been someone with no blood relation to them, would be considered criminal. If someone repeatedly called you at your workplace and threatened you for doing your job well, would you not have them arrested for criminal harassment? Why is this behaviour acceptable if it comes from one’s biological parents? For me, the line has been repeatedly crossed, and I have put up with it for far too long.
You should feel sorry for Albert Kwok-Wai Yeung 「楊國偉」 and Agnes Yuk-Lan Yu 「余玉蘭」, not for giving birth to me, but for being absolutely terrible human beings — i.e., “monsters”, to use your word.
In any case, it’s people like you, who try to prevent abuses of power from coming to light by trying to shame the victims instead of placing the blame rightly on the perpetrators, who make possible so many evils in this world: domestic violence, rape, child abuse, honour killings, etc. On behalf of abused children and other victims of abuses of power everywhere, fuck you.
– davinci
You must be on drug, or forgetting to take your psychiatric drug, in oder to treat your parent like this.
DeWitt, who belongs to the Z Generation that is:
the last generation to respect their parents and the first generation to be abandoned by their children.
I will ask you the same questions that I asked John Johnston above. How evil and reprehensible does a parent have to be before you consider it acceptable for his or her child to denounce him or her?
This has nothing to do with this or any other generation, but with the specific morally reprehensible behaviour of two particular individuals. I grew up with friends whose parents were very supportive of their studies, and also of mine, and these parents both have and deserve their children’s respect, as well as mine.
You imply that I must be insane to publicly announce that my biological parents are child abusers. On the contrary, I think it is the most moral and sensible thing that a person in my situation can do. Many people who suffer abuse at home direct their anger outwards and end up hurting others, or perpetuate the cycle of violence at home on younger family members. If the abuse is particularly bad, they may commit suicide or murder their abusers. I think that very few abused children dare to confront the issue directly, precisely because they perceive that attitudes like yours prevail in society — that parents should automatically be respected merely for being parents, and that anyone who publicly criticised them ought to be condemned or labeled insane.
Why do you believe that child abusers should be shown respect by their children, other than because you’ve been taught that parents should be respected unconditionally by their children and have never questioned whether this is actually right? If you think that a person must be insane to do what I have done, what would you suggest is a sane course of action for someone whose parents repeatedly punished him for doing well in school and continually threatened his life just for doing his job?
– davinci
It’s interesting to know how your parents will react if and when they see this blog. It’s even more interesting to hear their side of the story.
I find it incredible for parents to treat their children in the way your parents treated you (as you described it). At the same time, I also find it hard to understand the way you treated your parents in the way you did to them. There had to be something wrong on both sides, and someting wrong in between as well.
Best of luck!
Several people, such as my school counsellors and the parents of my classmates, have tried to speak to them about the publicly apparent aspects of how they mistreated me. Their reaction was inevitably to dismiss these people as idiots, and pressure me not to associate with them again by repeatedly criticising them.
I find it incredible that anyone would be surprised that there are parents who abuse their children. Surely, unless you live mostly in isolation, you’ve come across unreasonable people who must always get their way, and who verbally abuse or threaten anyone who doesn’t give them what they want. Perhaps you haven’t thought about this, but such people have children, and they sometimes treat their children even worse than they treat outsiders.
What is so difficult to understand about my public denunciation of their behaviour? They repeatedly harassed and threatened me until I had to quit my teaching assistantship and drop out of school. They cost me both my job and my degree. How do you think you would or should treat someone who did that to you?
– davinci
Did you hear a voice all the time telling you that your parents are there to hurt you?
Do you hear a voice telling you all the time that other people are crazy?
Why is it so important to you to project an image of yourself as someone who respects his parents in contradistinction to the rest of society?
The impression I get from your comments is that you’re still seeking approval from your (internalised) parents. Did your parents repeatedly tell you that people who criticise their parents are crazy while you were growing up? Is that why you keep on repeating this, to show the world what a “good boy” you are?
– davinci
Don’t let the other commenters get you down. Only we who’ve been through this know what it’s like. I don’t know how many people have sided with you or attacked you so far, whenever you tell this story, but just know that you have at least one person out there who supports you and thinks that you’re doing the right thing.
Thanks. That means a lot to me.
– davinci