If you’ve read the rest of my autobiography, you’ll see that, like many abused children, the roles were reversed in my family. I was the one making the sacrifices for their careers, health, and so on. Furthermore, all the good things that contributed to who I am today were done by other people in defiance of my parents.

You are simply wrong about my parents’ intentions. They prevented me from applying for scholarships and accepting jobs that would have paid for my education and put me in an advantageous position for my career. It was more important for them to be able to brag that they had financially supported me, than it was for me to actually be in a financially good situation. I took on debts that I never would have incurred without their interference.

On what grounds can you claim that anyone’s parents knows what he needs better than himself or his teachers? Whenever my teachers or professors told my parents what I needed to succeed, they would actually go out of their way to prevent me from doing it. Again, they were primarily concerned not with my success, but with being able to take credit for my success.

I appreciate that you have good intentions and don’t want to believe that some parents are horrible human beings, but the fact is that there are horrible people in the world, and some of them are parents. Refusing to acknowledge this doesn’t do anyone any good, especially abused children who are constantly told by society to suppress their emotions to their own detriment.

– davinci

Ask not what your parents have done TO you; ask what you have done TO your parents!

Think about the many sleepless nights they had when you were a baby, when you were sick, when you ……

Haven’t your parents done a single “good” thing that contributed to what and who you are today?

From your blog, I believe your parents are first-generation immigrants from China or Hong Kong. Do you realize how difficult it is to be uprooted from they place when they grew up and re-settle in a new country? Do you know how difficult it is to give you a safe shelter and to put food on the table?

While your parents’ way of treating you were ridiculous, I don’t believe they did so to intentionally destroy your life. You might not appreciate their dream of your future, I think your parents worked hard to save dime by dime to send you to university. Did they drive luxurious cars? Did they go out to eat all the time? Did they go on holidays during March breaks? Did they buy extravagant clothing? Did they ever leave you hungry when you went to bed? Did your mom prepare you breakfast before you went our of bed?

I believe your parents and you have one single thing in common — that is to make sure you will succeed in your life. The only difference between them and you is the means of doing so. Your parents wanted you to follow a path that they thought might be best for you, and you wanted to do it your own way. That was where the conflict was coming from.

You know what you WANT, your parents know what you NEED (to survive in this competitive world).

There are many people who have life objectives different from their parents’ expectations. Many of them were able to fulfill the dream of their parents (for example to be a medical doctor), and at the same time were able to pursuit their own dream (for example to be a musician). Are you not aware of examples of people who are medical doctors and musicians? Or engineers and artists, scientists and humanitists, etc.

I understand your resentment of the ways your parents treated you, I don’t really understand why you are so angry.

Your parents have spent many hard working years to bring you from a baby to a grown-up man. Now, when they are getting old (I don’t know how old they actually are), where are you?

Human being differs from other species of animals in one thing, that is to return the work of their parents in their upbringing by taking care of them when their parents need the care.

You can continue to perpetuate your anger toward your parents. You can continue to blame they for your depression and the eventual dropping out from your doctoral study.

Who will benefit from your anger? Who will suffer from your anger?

Who will benefit from your blaming your parents? Who will suffer from your blaming your parents?

Will the perpetuation of your anger lead to great success in your life? Will the perpetuation of your anger lead to a healthy body for yourself?

Will the perpetuation of your anger bring back your original dream (to be of the greatest minds in quantum computing)?

I think you will be a parent one day (or very soon). You will then realize it’s a much much more difficult and thankless task than you think.

Give my words some thought, young man.

(Also, I’m not the musician — I think you misread Stef’s comments above as a part of my post.)

– davinci

you to deal with them lest they drag you down further. for now life has changed, not ended and i am confident that you will conquer your issues.

– davinci

good luck