Comments on: My depression in Waterloo, part 5: feeling “unworthy” http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/ everything is an experiment Sat, 19 May 2012 02:04:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Revenge as a Motivation for Abusive Parents « davinci’s notebook http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/comment-page-1/#comment-14068 Revenge as a Motivation for Abusive Parents « davinci’s notebook Tue, 07 Sep 2010 02:22:21 +0000 http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/?p=597#comment-14068 [...] my research as “worthless”, criticised me for going to scientific conferences, spoke dismissively of the research institutes where I worked, and insulted my colleagues who are some of the most respected scientists in the world. This is [...] [...] my research as “worthless”, criticised me for going to scientific conferences, spoke dismissively of the research institutes where I worked, and insulted my colleagues who are some of the most respected scientists in the world. This is [...]

]]> By: Proxy http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/comment-page-1/#comment-1852 Proxy Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:08:45 +0000 http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/?p=597#comment-1852 My case isn't nearly as extreme as yours and definitely I can't imagine how you deal with a father who enforces ideals in that manner, but I can understand a lot about what you say. I also developed depression (clinical, as in long term, persistent around 1 year ago) and am in the process of healing, so far so good, but it also stems from similar pressures and feelings, all of which I created myself. We Chinese people in engineering or other fields are often brought up to believe that we have to strive to be the best at something etc etc, and even when no one around us tells us that anymore, the stuff we heard in the past still affects how we think. Anyways I shall read more of this series :) My case isn’t nearly as extreme as yours and definitely I can’t imagine how you deal with a father who enforces ideals in that manner, but I can understand a lot about what you say. I also developed depression (clinical, as in long term, persistent around 1 year ago) and am in the process of healing, so far so good, but it also stems from similar pressures and feelings, all of which I created myself. We Chinese people in engineering or other fields are often brought up to believe that we have to strive to be the best at something etc etc, and even when no one around us tells us that anymore, the stuff we heard in the past still affects how we think. Anyways I shall read more of this series :)

]]> By: davinci http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/comment-page-1/#comment-1850 davinci Sat, 17 Oct 2009 21:21:08 +0000 http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/?p=597#comment-1850 Yes, it did, which was why (as you'll find out if you continue reading the series) I eventually <a href="http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/06/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-13-dropping-out/" rel="nofollow">dropped out of school</a>. -- davinci Yes, it did, which was why (as you’ll find out if you continue reading the series) I eventually dropped out of school.

– davinci

]]> By: Proxy http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/comment-page-1/#comment-1849 Proxy Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:28:48 +0000 http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/?p=597#comment-1849 I'm just wondering doesn't symptoms of your depression affect your brain functions and get into the way of your studies? I’m just wondering doesn’t symptoms of your depression affect your brain functions and get into the way of your studies?

]]> By: FC http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/comment-page-1/#comment-1569 FC Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:19:54 +0000 http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/?p=597#comment-1569 No further comment No further comment

]]> By: My depression in Waterloo, part 8: disguising my research @ davinci’s notebook http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/comment-page-1/#comment-1175 My depression in Waterloo, part 8: disguising my research @ davinci’s notebook Sat, 20 Jun 2009 13:19:11 +0000 http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/?p=597#comment-1175 [...] of the project that it was a “waste of time”, because according to him I would never encounter astrophysics again in my career. Even though Dr. Percy wrote the text of the paper, I contributed to the analysis and generated [...] [...] of the project that it was a “waste of time”, because according to him I would never encounter astrophysics again in my career. Even though Dr. Percy wrote the text of the paper, I contributed to the analysis and generated [...]

]]> By: davinci http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/comment-page-1/#comment-1095 davinci Wed, 27 May 2009 14:39:38 +0000 http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/?p=597#comment-1095 Thanks for the encouragement, Bill. A large part of the problem for me was that my parents, relatives, and cultural community have a very fixed (and wrong) idea of what "computer science" is. They kept putting pressure on me to study what ''they'' consider to be computer science rather than allow me to make decisions for myself. Thanks for the encouragement, Bill. A large part of the problem for me was that my parents, relatives, and cultural community have a very fixed (and wrong) idea of what “computer science” is. They kept putting pressure on me to study what they consider to be computer science rather than allow me to make decisions for myself.

]]> By: Bill http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/2009/05/my-depression-in-waterloo-part-5-feeling-unworthy/comment-page-1/#comment-1094 Bill Wed, 27 May 2009 14:33:06 +0000 http://stargrads.net/blogs/davinci/?p=597#comment-1094 Davinci, I'm a Computer Scientist with a BS,MS and soon Phd. Diversity comes in many forms cultural and educational backgroud. Don't ever sell yourself short, what you know if valuable what your peers know makes them interesting and definitely worth the conversation. My parents don't know what I do after 20 years, they simply know that I work with computers. This may be a blessing or a curse, the verdict is still out. Once thing I do know that meeting peers and others with a diverse background is always very intriguing to me and I'm sure others share the same sentiment. Innovation, ideas and thought never can come from a single frame of shared thought and reference, but often times from various rivers flowing into the same lake. This is what makes the lake more than interesting, but enlightening and thus worth the exploration. My suggestion is to take the perceived lemon and make lemonade. The reality it isn't a lemon but a diamond. - Diamond Cutter Davinci,

I’m a Computer Scientist with a BS,MS and soon Phd. Diversity comes in many forms cultural and educational backgroud. Don’t ever sell yourself short, what you know if valuable what your peers know makes them interesting and definitely worth the conversation.

My parents don’t know what I do after 20 years, they simply know that I work with computers. This may be a blessing or a curse, the verdict is still out. Once thing I do know that meeting peers and others with a diverse background is always very intriguing to me and I’m sure others share the same sentiment. Innovation, ideas and thought never can come from a single frame of shared thought and reference, but often times from various rivers flowing into the same lake. This is what makes the lake more than interesting, but enlightening and thus worth the exploration. My suggestion is to take the perceived lemon and make lemonade. The reality it isn’t a lemon but a diamond.

- Diamond Cutter

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